Pontoff why don't you.

£20 million to have this bigot come and pay Blighty a visit.  Brilliant, just what the country needs during a recession.  Although that's over now, apparently.

The Pope announced yesterday that he would be visiting us in September and tour the country in his glorified tank thing, firing off rounds of peace, love and homophobic bile as he does.  The cost of this tour?  £20 million quid to the UK tax payer.  Aces!

To bring further joy and love he announced that the UK Government was a bit shit and needs to have a better look at the equality bill as, heaven forbid, it grants more equality (you don't say) and potentially stops the Church acting above the law.  Well, he didn't actually say that exactly, but read between the lines kids.

Now I'm no fan of the British Government but who does he think he is?  God?  Oh just God's messenger on Earth you say, spreading the word.  Lovely.

No doubt there will be some fawning over him and others out on the streets protesting at what the leader of the Catholic Church spouts in the name of religion.  What I'd like to see is... well him not coming at all would be brilliant, but seeing as that seems unlikely, the bill sale through and him get thoroughly annoyed at our equality.  He doesn't want equality in the Vatican State, fine.  Leave us to our own devices, it's 2010 mate, what place do you think you really have telling us what to do.

Some one needs to point out to him that religion is pretty much dying in the UK (although it's possible there may be a resurgence now that Celebrity Big Brother and X-Factor are over).

Alternatively  he could come out and say that they made God up, for a laugh.  That'd stir up the masses.  He'd make the front pages of the Newspapers, that we don't buy any more, and everything.